Not about anyone else but ME!

I haven't blogged much lately and I need to. I have just been upset with myself for gaining weight and falling off the bandwagon. Really though - who do I have to impress? When I started blogging I did it for me but some how during my journey I lost sight of goals and reasons why I started the journey in the first place. I started off wanting to lose weight for myself. Not because of some contest, or because I hated what people saw when they looked at me - but because I wanted to feel better inside and out. I want to lose weight for myself. I went into my fat secret account today and changed my diet plan around some and plan on jumping back on the bandwagon. Again I am not going to try some fad diet or workout route. I am going to watch what I eat, drink my water, and walk. It works for ME and that is all that is important.

Painful Truth

Tonight while studing I over heard the girls talking downstairs. Jasmine to MiKayla "I wouldn't eat that if I were you. It will make you fat like mommy. Do you want to get fat like her?" Ouch.. I really have a problem and need to do something about my weight. I never wanted to be the fat mother on the sidelines.

Yo-Yo

Up and Down the scale goes where it stops no one knows. Since going on vacation I haven't gotten back into working out nor watching my diet. The scale has gone up 2, down 2, up 1, down 2, up 2. This morning I did my weekly weigh in and what do I see 170.2 so up again. Why not?! I am so frustrated and I know it's my fault. I know what to do to lose weight. I know what I am doing wrong. I just can't get back on the bandwagon.

I have three events coming up that I will want to look my best for. The first one is May 12th. (3 1/2 weeks away) We will be having family pictures done. We haven't had family pictures done since 2006. When we did them last time I was sitting at about 190 pounds I think. I am only 20 under that and not happy that I am not closer or at 30 plus. The next event will be my college graduation which is June 8th.(7 1/2 weeks) I ordered my cap and gown staying that I was at my current weight but I would still like to drop another 10/15 pounds by then. The event after that is summer which is basically the same date and I would like to be at about the same weight lose as my graduation hopes. I know I can't drop 10 pounds in 3 weeks for photo's but I couple drop 10 by graduation if I can get my head on straight.

Ashamed

It's Thursday and I have finally decided to confess. I am embarrassed and ashamed of myself and this weeks weigh in. Tuesday I stepped up on the scale and saw yet another bad week weigh in. I weighed in at 171.8. This is not what I wanted to see. Does it surprise me? No! I ate horrible. I didn't workout at all. Plus I have my monthly visitor. This is no excuse though. I didn't need to finish off the bag of chips. I didn't need to eat Easter candy. I didn't need 3 slices of pizza. I can find an hour to workout. I gained weight because I wasn't smart about the things I ate and the lack of exercise. I would love to say that today is a new day but for whatever reason I can't break out of this mental funk and am already struggling. I need a kick to help me jump start my new goal. Come on Melody - 8 weeks until graduation and you want to look great!

New Small Goal

Four and a half years ago I felt that I had a goal unfulfilled and that I needed support while I attempt to complete my goal. My goal has always been to go to college. I wanted to prove to myself and everyone else that a poor girl from a small town that not only came from a troubled past but also has dyslexia could hold that piece of paper in her hand with her head held high saying I did it, and I did it on my own. I applied to college, was accepted and off I went. Now I am just a few short weeks away from graduation. Not a doctor like I had hoped 15 years ago. But, I can say that I earned my degree and I did it on my own. Something I hope my friends, family and children are proud of.

With graduation 8 weeks away I thought, why not work on dropping a few extra pounds before hand. I am going to shoot to see the 150's on the scale by that day. This is a bigger goal then I should shoot for. I need to drop 10/11 pounds in 8 weeks. That means I need to pick up with workout pace and watch my calories closer. We will see. I will keep you posted.

Running Shoes

Today for no particular reason I decided to buy my first pair of running shoes. Being that I live in a small town I really only have one store to shop in. I asked the clerk (who looked younger then me and not sure if he even runs) which were the best and he suggested these..

I bought them. They were a bit pricey but I like how they feel. Not sure if I am in love with the hot pink and black but feel good. They are Asics Gel-Blur33 shoes. Reviews look good online. Not sure how much running I will do verse fast walking but we will see. I plan on getting a walk in tomorrow. Actually I plan on attempting to kill it on an outdoor 5K trail and see how I do.
Results coming soon...

Easter is coming!

Sunday is Easter Day. My husbands family makes a huge meal filled with high fat, high sugar, high carb foods. How do you survive the holidays? The this is the toughest thing for me. There are so many wonderful things to eat. Unless I am cooking the whole meal; I have to pick and choose my items without offending people.

Two of my girls; Jasmine and Nicole.

This year for Easter my husband and I bought the girls new bikes. We plan on passing on the junk toys, and junk candy and shot for healthier things we can do as a family. What are your Easter plans?

Fatty get off the couch!

As always I need a pep talk and a kick in the butt. I took some time to read over some old post. I found that I had some great weeks. Those weeks I noticed that I got my 3+ pounds in every night, watched my calories and had a good attitude. So I tossed the pretzels, passed on ice cream and got my 5k with a twist DVD done. That doesn't make my 3 small tacos go away nor the pre-pms any easier but it will help.

Weigh In

I gained.. I am so upset with myself. I have allowed myself to gain weight yet again this week. I have been beating myself up all day. I stepped on the scale this morning and 171.2 that is over a pound close to 2 pound gain. That is crazy. I really don't have any excuse either and nothing to say for myself.

Calorie Tracking

Track your daily caloric intake. It sounds simple enough. However, for some people this can be a daunting task. Most people are busy balancing their work life and their home life and adding a calorie journal to the mix doesn’t really sound feasible. Despite the barriers that may exist to doing so, tracking your calories is actually your first line of defense in the battle to lose weight. Thankfully, there are plenty of ways to create a calorie journal that can easily fit into your daily routine. Many websites offer free calorie trackers and there are numerous applications that you can use to track your calories on your smart phone. Knowing your caloric intake can help you get a better understanding of the steps you need to take in order to lose weight. 


I had a friend recommend http://fatsecret.com/ for tracking and like this one. I like that it has barcode scanning and I like that I can find most things I eat. The app is easy to use as well. I have a sparkpeople account as well and like this one, but haven't used it in awhile. The problem I have is that I love my runkeeper but I have to manually key my exercising into fatsecret.com in order to have everything in one place. I wish I could find an all in one solutions that gives me all the things I love. 


The question is how many calories do I need. In order to lose a pound per week, you somehow need to cut 3,500 calories from your weekly caloric intake. You can do this either by decreasing your caloric intake (consuming less calories by restricting your diet) or by burning 500 calories a day. Or, you can combine these methods and both restrict your calories and burn calories through exercise. Being conscious of how many calories you consume daily will help you make healthier choices. That cake at Starbucks looks great but is it worth the 400 calories? I found a wonderful link online that has 100 ways to cut 100 calories from your diet. I found that some of these are simple and easy to do. http://www.prevention.com/100calories/


Many people are not able to reach their fitness goals because they are simply unaware of what they are consuming. Take control of your health by tracking your calories.

Sunday

Took our first family bike ride today. We rode almost 3 miles. Man my butt is sore. There has to be a tool I can use to reduce sore butt? I bought a new seat but still not helping.

I got my workout in as well. It was a day for fitness but for some reason I am up on the scale today.

Calorie counting again, starting tomorrow.