Vacation

Vacation is over and I am left with tired kids, dirty laundry, empty fridge, and thankfully only a pound of extra weight. The negative person inside me says that I have that one pound plus the 2 I didn't lose last week plus the 2 I need to lose this week - so 5 pounds to lose this week, but I am not going to be negative. I am though going to try to lose my 1 pound gain and at least another pound this weekend before Tuesday's weigh in.

Vacation was good. The girls had a wonderful time. Overall it was a great trip. It was hot though.We spent a day at Universal, a day at Sea World, two days in Daytona Beach, a day at Disney and a day and half relaxing in the hotel/poolside.


I am still debating the 5K in April. I allow fear to hold me back from doing something that I want to do. My fear is coming in last. This isn't a large race. Right now only 20 people are registered and I don't want to be in last place and not even last place but way, way in last place. The last 5K I did, I was towards the end of the pack and that was bad enough. Right now I see only runners registered. I wont be able to run it all; if at all. I have until April 11th to make up my mind.

Weigh In

12 weeks ago I set out to change my life starting with my body. My first mini goal was to lose 15 pounds by the time I left for vacation. As the weeks went by the weight came off; slower than I wanted and hoped but came off. The closer I got to my vacation though, the slower the weight loss. I began to lose motivation and found myself getting discouraged. Over the past couple days I really have allowed this discouragement to take over and all the excuses I have used for years started flooding out. It's too hot to workout. I don't have a fitness buddy. I am tired. One day off isn't going to hurt me. This has gone on now for 3 days and I need to get back into the mindset I started off with. What I need is some positive motivation to get me moving again. I was really worried about my weigh in this morning. First off I haven't given it my all the past couple of days. Second I ate a ton of salty jerky last night. Third I want to reach my first mini goal so bad that not would really suck. I am happy to report that I stepped on the scale this morning and...... I lost this week. 169.2 which is a total of 2 pounds even this week. Total of 15.4 pounds in 12 weeks and almost 43 pounds lost from my all time high weight.

Man that feels good. Let's set another goal and see if I can find my fitness MOJO again. This next one is a longer goal but close to the same amount of weight. My goal is to reach my Pre-Nicole weight by her 8th birthday. That means I need to reach 155 (we will say 154.6 to keep things even) by September 15, 2012.

I am going to start this goal off by joining a fitness challenge though fatsecret.com. It is a 12 week challenge that I hope helps get my butt moving.

Looking back..

Today I spent sometime looking at old fitness logs with all the sites I have joined over the years and came across what I have always thought as my "fattest" me picture. I was shocked when I read the weight I added to the caption. It read 167 pounds. WOW that is only 4 pounds less then where I am, and this was my fat me picture?! It was taken 4th of July 2002.

167 pounds, 2002

Gross!!! My face is fat and round. My leg looks huge. I look as big as a house. Could this really be me? Talk about discouraging..

Vacation is coming!

Going on vacation!!! Can't wait but have so much to do before hand. Let's talk about the exciting things first.. The girls are finally getting excited! Jasmine has been counting down the days. She can't wait until we get to the "castle" (we are going to Disney). Nicole is excited about meeting her grandma (my mother). MiKayla well MiKayla is just now starting to warm up to the idea of being away from her boyfriend and having to spend time with her family. Aaron is excited for warm weather and the rental car. :) I am excited about it all. I take that back I could careless about the rental car. :)

There are a ton of things to do before we go. I need to clean the house.  I need to speak with my friend down the road and see if she will pick up the mail and check in on the cat once or twice for me. With a big sigh... packing. I have no idea what the girls have or don't have. I know I need clothes but not sure it's in the budget for me. Might be jeans the whole time; which isn't a bad thing considering how I feel about the way my legs look. I have lost almost 15 pounds since last summer and not sure if my swimsuit is going to fit or not. I need to try it on. I am afraid to though. Part of me hopes it's too small so that I can feel good about my weight loss. The other part of me says that I can't afford a new one. Also, what if it fits. What does that mean?

Work has been so wonderful about my time off. They have altered my schedule so that I can work 4-10's now (normally we start mid April) so that I don't have to take a vacation day for Friday or Monday. The bad thing is  though that I have to be to work 1/2 earlier and stay 1/2 later. Later doesn't bother me; earlier does. I hate the mornings.

I have a confession. I am worried about gaining weight back. I have worked so hard these past 12 weeks and I am not ready to face temptations.


This weekend

This weekend was wonderful. The weather was amazing. It was so nice out that I forgot to clean the inside of my house. I was able to get out and walk some this weekend though. I walked 2.4 miles Saturday night with a girlfriend and another a couple with the kids Sunday. The odd thing is that my legs hurt this morning. I walk at home with my DVD's almost every night. I walk anywhere from 3-7 miles and never hurt this bad. I don't get it. I am worried about doing a 5K now. Not sure I could handle it. Still time before I need to register so we will see. I want to do an outside 3.2 and see how long it takes me. Maybe tonight even. We will see though, I heard it's suppose to be really nice tonight. Normally 5K is ran in the early am before it gets hot out.

I will keep you posted on all that.

Spring fever

It has been unusually nice this past week here in northern Michigan. The birds are back, and singing just as loud as ever before. I feel like I should be out walking. The problem for me and outside walking is that I hate going alone. I really want to be able to cross off walking around the lake off my things to do but don't want to risk not being able to make it. The lake is 7 miles and I should be able to do that without a problem but just not sure. Thanks to my wonderful friend Keri I was encouraged to get off the couch and walk 2.4 miles yesterday. That was my first outdoor walk of the season and it felt good.

We grilled out last night and boy was it good. I need some good healthy grilling recipes so send some my way.
I plan on attacking the yard today. See what's going on in the beds and what I need to buy when I get home from vacation. I know that I need some more soil to fill in an old bed and plant grass - I also need to replace all the wood chip this year. Can't wait to see what all my plants do this year. I think I need to move a few around but don't remember which ones yikes. My flower beds could get out of control. I would also like to move my rose bush but worry about that. Regardless of all the work I have I enjoy it and can't wait..

So, get off the couch, out of the office and enjoy the great outdoors.

On the lighter side..

I want to address the lighter side of weight loss today (no pun intended). I are tired of being overweight. I am always stressed. I want to lose weight so bad that we can taste it (also no pun intended). I have tried and tried and tried, but there seem to be set backs. I might lose a little only to gain it back the next week, lose it again and so on (the yo-yo syndrome).

Things are not perfect, nor will they ever be. As long as you are making a concentrated effort do not beat yourself up. Lighten up your heart!

It is easy to become discouraged when you are trying to lose weight. We all want instantaneous results. This generally does not happen and we do not necessarily want it to. The slower that we lose weight the easier time we have keeping it off. This is according to several studies done on weight loss. Be happy if you are even losing a pound a week. It is something and you have adjusted your body to eating that much less. The loss may be slow, but it is a loss nonetheless. When you feel stressed out regarding the time it is taking you to lose weight, do something to take your mind off it. Do something besides eating, that is. You can read, watch television or write your thoughts or feelings down. The list of things that you can do to take your mind off it is endless.

Remember, anything that is hard to obtain is worth having. This just means that you wanted it bad enough to keep striving toward your goal. You must also remember that you did not gain overnight, therefore you will not lose overnight.

Lighten up and read some jokes to help ease a little stress while you are taking those baby steps and remember to keep on moving.

Weight-Loss Challenges

Expecting ups and downs is the perfect way to make them work for you, rather than against you. Here are a few of my weight-loss obstacles that have challenged me along my weight-loss journey. 


#1 Guilt - This one is my most common challenge and I have recently come face-to-face with it. Knowing you overindulged can be upsetting, but instead of punishing yourself, learn from the lesson. 


#2 Temptations - This is so hard for me. I have my weakness just like anyone else. I love salty foods when on my period. I can sit down and eat a whole bag of chips with cheese dip in one sitting. I love my carbs. I can't stay away from bread; garlic, cheese, buttered, herb. You name it bread I love. My mothers burritos. Love, love, love them. If you have favorite foods that are very high in calories, and you really love them, deciding you'll never eat them again is a recipe for disaster. Because then, when the temptation wins (and it probably will), you'll feel as though you've failed. The trick is to find ways to fit the food in without going off track. Look for low-fat versions, for example. Or allow yourself an occasional splurge. Plan accordingly knowing and understanding the pros and cons of eating this temptation.


#3 Unrealistic Goal Setting - Years past this has been a huge obstacle for me. I set these unrealistic goals and then allow them to depress me when I can't reach them. This time around I am shooting for small, realistic goals. Be patient with your body. Set realistic goals, then work hard to get to them. Remember, reaching your weight loss goal will feel just as great if it takes you longer to get there, and taking the time to establish healthy habits will help you stay at your weight goal for life. 


I set my first goal at 1 pound per week, not counting holiday weeks. This allows me to lose more one and gain or flat-line another. 


#4 Plateaus - Let's start off by first defining a plateau. "A point in an exercise program where additional progress cannot be made, such as weight loss or increase in strength or endurance. This usually happens 6 – 8 weeks into an exercise program. http://www.weightlossndiet.com/definition/plateau" The key words in this definition is cannot be made. Understand that it's totally okay to reach a plateau in your weight loss. The reasons could be your body's natural reaction, or it could mean you've loosened up on the good habits you've developed. Here are 5 ways to beat the plateau. 

•  Kick up your fitness level.  Look for simple ways to get more activity in: Take the family (or the dog) for an afternoon walk. Park the car farther away, or get off the bus a stop or two away from your destination.  
• Write it down - if it goes in your mouth, it goes on the paper. Track everything. Make sure not to forget those BLT's. 
• Eat right - eat your fruits and veggies. Don't cheat yourself. Just because you think your eating right, doesn't mean you are. Take a good look at your diet. 
• Spice things up - you know I like this one. Summer time is just around the corner, so add a little flavor to your BBQ.
• Get busy and stay active -  Join an after-work volleyball league, attend art openings or just chase your kids around outside. The less you're in the kitchen, the less tempted you'll be to eat. Summer is coming so why not get out with the kids and kick around a ball. Put up a net and play some badminton. Plant a garden or work in the yard. 

Just be patient, and you will make your goal!

Wednesday

What makes Wednesday better than Tuesday on the scale? Tuesday is my normal weigh in day but it never fails that Wednesday is always nicer to me. Is it that I am less stressed and there for lose weight? Is it another day of working out after weekend eating? Would Wednesday become Tuesday if I switched my weigh in day?

All I know is that this morning the scale was VERY nice to me. Hope this good weight loss plus more more follow me to Tuesday. Cross your fingers and toes.. Keep the positive (negative loss) scale vibes coming.

Weigh In

It is weigh in Tuesday. Sadly I have to report that I did not reach goal this week. I however did have a loss so that's good. I can't bring up last weeks weigh in right now but this weeks number is 171.2 - as you can see not below 170 yet.

Next week on Tuesday is when I hoped to be there so we will see.

This morning has been interesting. We do not have Internet nor phones at work. Normally I would be excited but, I have a boring day at work today and was hoping to work on my presentation for Thursday night class.

5K

Two years ago I did a 5k with my beautiful daughter MiKayla and our good friends. I was able to walk/run some of it but mainly walked. The weather was warm but raining. My feet felt like they weighed 100 pounds soaked with water.

I wanted so much to complete the 5K running the whole way, I just couldn't. I ended up finishing though and am determined to try again. I am debating on two different races or maybe even both. One is April 21st and the other is Memorial Day. If I do the one Memorial Day I will get to do it again with MiKayla. The debate is whether I do the April one and see how much I can improve my time by May or just let MiKayla have her race day to herself. Thoughts?

MiKayla finishing the race!

Feeling Good Today

We all have good days and bad days. For someone who is over weight we tend to have more bad then good. Every time we go shopping and things don't seem to fit. Every time we go out to eat and we see someone watching us (your sure that they are wondering how much that fat person is going to eat). Every time you get asked if your pregnant. Anytime you catch a glimpse of yourself in a mirror or window. Lately the bad days have out weighed the good ones. I have been depressed over weight, acne, money, school, pto, and just plain life. I really need a positive boost to pick me up and get me back on track. I was lucky enough to get one. I stepped on the scale (unofficial) and I was down 2 pounds. That was enough to get me excited and kick my butt into high gear. I watched my portions all day and did an hour of cardio. Feeling pretty good. Less then 2 weeks until vacation. I am a little nervous about vacation and weight gain. Hoping that park walking, fresh fruit, and fresh air will be enough to keep the weight off.

Long depressing night.

I am a fat cow who is out of control. I tried to get my head on straight tonight and couldn't. Came home and ate like I hadn't eatten in days. I attempted to do my 5 mile walk and was winded after 2 miles so I quit. I feel like it's day one of my workout except mentally my head is ready to give up. Dressed in my gym clothes I shouldn't weigh anymore than 174 but I am 175.6 so what the hell. I am so depressed. I need a good nights sleep and maybe tomorrow will be a new day.

Weigh In

Here it is short and "bitter"... I gained -- first time since starting my weight loss journey 9 weeks ago and I feel depressed, fat, ugly, nasty, and discouraged. I weighed in at 173.2.

Good but BAD

I had a wonderful weekend full of parties which made it an amazing weekend but that also means I had an opportunity to do bad on my diet. My baby girl turned 6 this weekend. She had a wonderful time. We rented out the theater for a private viewing of the Lorax. We ate popcorn. Drank "diet" pop. and... ate cupcakes.

After her party it was time to clean up the house and prepare for my first "Girls Night In". I planned to host with munchies, chocolates, and wine. I made up a meat, cheese and cracker tray. I also served some petit fours, chocolates, and cookies. After several cookies, two glasses of wine, and also a ton of crackers. Needless to say I ate a ton of junk that day. Pizza rolls, french fries, and tatar tots. I became a pig. Another bad habit I picked up was drinking diet soda. I have stayed away from all soda for a while now and very disappointed in myself.

So mother nature blessed me again. Like clock work I am cursed every month - so now I am very depressed in myself, bloated, and gaining weight. This morning I was up almost 2 pounds and fear my weigh in tomorrow. This maybe my first gain since I started on my mission 9 weeks ago. I was so depressed that I came home tonight and continued on my destructive ways. I ate 3 cookies, 1 pickle, 3 leftover petit fours, a turkey burger, and two string cheeses as dinner. I feel sick. I am in a funk. My workouts have been lacked this week. I have only worked out a couple times and small 2/3 mile walks rather then my normal 4/7 mile ones.

Really hoping I get luck tomorrow and can hold a flat line or a loss but don't see how it is possible. I am going to need to shake out of this funk I am out.